Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Aroldis Chapman's Girlfriend Gets Robbed and Tied up in Pittsburgh Hotel Room

Aroldis Chapman's hotel room was robbed Tuesday,
however, the suspect did not get away with
Chapman's prized princess backpack.
Aroldis Chapman is having a bizarre month. And because we don't use the word bizarre lightly here at INSIC, here's what we mean: in the last two weeks, Chapman has A. been arrested B. had an $18 million lawsuit filed against him and C. had his hotel room robbed. That's all in two weeks. To put that in perspective, it takes 21.5 weeks for a baby dairy goat to go from conception to birth.

Anyway, lets get back to letter C., the 'hotel room robbed' thing. 

While Chapman was at PNC Park in Pittsburgh Tuesday night -- the Reds were in the middle of an 8-1 win over the Pirates -- a man knocked on Chapman's hotel room door. Of course, Chapman wasn't there, because again, he was at PNC Park. 

According to reports, Chapman's 26-year-old girlfriend answered the door and let the man in. Now why did she let a stranger in you ask? The man claimed to be a maintenance person who was there to fix a broken toilet. 

After entering the room, the fake maintenance man demanded items from Chapman's girlfriend. When she refused, the man tied her up with dinner napkins and proceeded to steal anything he could get his filthy paws on, including: a computer, clothing, some jewelry and a credit card.  

Chapman's girlfriend was eventually freed when fellow hotel guests heard her crying for help.

Pittsburgh police are currently investigating the situation, but if they're as bad at their jobs as the Pirates are, the investigation could take years. 

On a somewhat positive note, Chapman has seemingly been unfazed by the robbery, his arrest and the pending lawsuit: the Cuban missile has given up exactly zero earned runs this season in 26 innings pitched.  

Reds 3B Todd Frazier Saves a Man's LIfe with Heimlich Maneuver: #ToddFrazierFacts Trends on Twitter

Todd Frazier hit a home run with no hands Sunday, which is a good thing
because he needed his hands Monday to perform the Heimlich on a man
that was choking to death. 
Reds third baseman Todd Frazier had the team's biggest save of the season Monday and it had nothing to do with baseball.

While at dinner in Pittsburgh with teammate Ryan Ludwick, Frazier noticed a man choking. And we're not talking LeBron James at the free throw line during the fourth quarter of a big game choking, we're talking a piece of food lodged in your throat choking. A giant piece of food.

Frazier, who hit a walk-off homer against the Atlanta Braves last week and who also hit a NO-HANDED homer against Colorado on Sunday, took his awesomeness to a new level when he saved the choking man's life. The rookie infielder used the Heimlich Maneuver to dislodge what was a apparently a dinosaur-sized piece of steak.

"I don't know what it was -- it was a monster piece," Frazier told the AP after Tuesday's win over Pittsburgh. "The lady he was with was crying, and it was like surreal. Never done it before in my life."

Frazier gave a few more details about the incident to's Mark Sheldon: 

“I said ‘I think that dude is choking over there.’ He was a little obese and there were two women side-by-side trying to give him the Heimlich. [Ludwick] said get over there because I was the closest one. So I went over there and was yelling at them to get out of the way. They did and I gave two pumps and it came out.”

Todd Frazier Facts took over Twitter Tuesday. As did
LSD apparently. 
Frazier's lifesaving act of kindness didn't go unnoticed either. Hours after the story made its way onto the internet, #ToddFrazierFacts became a hashtag on Twitter and not just any hashtag, it trended nationally.

If you're not on Twitter and all of this hashtag talk is making you want to punch a stray cat, please take a minute and go punch a stray cat.

OK, welcome back.

Anyway, here are some of the best Todd Frazier facts from Twitter:

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Reds Fan Catches Two Home Runs In a Row, then Gives Them Both Away

The Reds fireworks guy worked OT against the Braves on
Monday (photo via flickr)
Home run balls are a lot like sex-starved super model girlfriends: you're chances of getting one are around zero percent. Unless your Caleb Lloyd that is.

During the fourth inning of Monday's Reds-Braves game, Lloyd caught not one, but two home runs. Even more amazing, the home runs were back-to-back. Even more amazing than that, Lloyd gave both home run balls AWAY. Even more amazing than that, Lloyd spells his last name with TWO 'L's'!!

Anyway, back to Lloyd and the Reds.

Caleb Lloyd caught two home run balls,
but kept zero of them.
(Photo via Cincinnati Enquirer)
With two outs in the bottom of the fourth, pitcher Mike Leake jacked his first career home run off of Braves starter Mike Minor.

The ball literally landed right in Lloyd's hand. "I caught it and then it bounced off the palm of my hand and then I reached out and grabbed it," Lloyd told the Cincinnati Enquirer. "It hurt really bad, so I'm like, 'I'm not doing that again.'"

Hungover people say "I'm not doing that again" all the time, and they always do it again, and so did Lloyd. Three pitches after Leake's homer, Zack Cozart smashed a home run into the left field stands and guess who caught it: Lloyd.

"The second one bounced behind me and then bounced in my lap," Lloyd said. "My buddy's like, 'you caught a second one!' I was like 'oh my gosh, this is crazy.'"

Even crazier, the Reds got a third home run in a row -- that Lloyd didn't catch -- when Drew Stubbs jacked one out of the park. It was Stubbs' second homer of the day.

In the Reds 4-1 win over the Braves, all five runs came via solo homers.

The story's not over though. Instead of rubbing it in everyone's face that he caught two home run balls, Lloyd did something slightly nicer: he gave both of them away.

He gave Leake's homer back to Leake, "I gave it back because I know it's Leake's first ever home run. I just want to meet him and shake his hand."

As for Cozart's home run ball, Lloyd threw it at a stray dog outside Great American Ballpark. OK, that's a lie. He gave it to his friend. "I gave the Cozart one to my buddy, whose uncle actually got us the tickets. I gave him the ball because he was kind of one of the reasons I was here."

Click here for a video interview with Lloyd. Click here for a clip of the Reds' back-to-back-to-back home runs. Click here if you've always wanted to order a shake weight, but couldn't find the website.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Cincinnati Reds Outfielder Jay Bruce is the Oldest Person Alive

Jay Bruce is the youngest looking 225-year-old ever
(photo via @Emilyfaith87)
Forty-nine year old Jamie Moyer is no longer the oldest person in Major League baseball, that title now belongs to Reds outfielder Jay Bruce. In the top of the second inning Friday, the Yankees scoreboard operator let out the big secret: Bruce is actually 225-years-old.

Old, Jay Bruce is.
This means Bruce isn't only older than Moyer, he's also older than Charles Dickens, Mark Twain and every president from Millard Fillmore on.

Bruce has only been in the big leagues for five years, but if Yankee Stadium's scoreboard is to be believed, he was already 72 when the Reds played their first professional game in 1869. If Bruce's agent is any good, Bruce will be an adult diaper spokesman by the end of the weekend.

Anyway, Bruce's old age worked against him Friday. The 5-year veteran went 0-for-4 in the Reds 4-0 loss to the Yankees. Bruce struck out twice. However, in the fourth inning, Bruce proved that not all 225-year-old people are useless when he threw out Robinson Cano at second base as Cano tried to stretch a single into a double.

Bruce's age does answer a lot of questions though: the rumor about him demanding a contract extension that would add 118 years to his current deal now make a lot more sense.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Is Carson Palmer a Fun Golf Partner? This Random Guy, Who's Probably a Raiders Fan, Says Yes

Carson Palmer didn't throw any pick-6's on the golf course Tuesday
(photo via Horsemeatsandwich)
Last year, after Carson Palmer diva'd his way out of Cincinnati, we swore we'd never write about him or horses ever again. We have nothing against horses, but Carson Palmer probably likes them, so we don't.

Anyway, we're ending our Carson Palmer/horse ban today by writing about both.

On Tuesday, a commenter that goes by the name "HorseMeatSandwich," played golf with Carson Palmer. And he shared his experience with the world.

When I walked into the clubhouse to check in, all the workers at the desk had their jaws dropped. I paid and all, and while I was signing the receipt the guy at the register asked "So, are you an NFL fan?" I said yes, and he said, "Carson Fucking Palmer just checked in." 
Sounded like Palmer just showed up unannounced, and he was just by himself. No posse or anything. Honestly, if the guy at the desk didn't say anything I might have played a whole round of golf with him and thought "Wow, this dude looks a little like Carson Palmer."

According to Mr. HorseMeatSandwich, he showed up at the Tilden Golf Course in Berkeley, Calif. to play a round of golf by himself. If you've ever showed up at a golf course by yourself, you may know that the course will sometimes pair you up with someone to expedite the playing process.

Well, the course paired up Mr. HorseMeatSandwich with another golfer that showed up by himself: Carson Palmer.

He kept his headphones on most of the time, but if I asked him a question or started small talk, he took them off and would happily answer me. On one hole I lost a ball and he spent almost 5 minutes trudging through the weeds helping me look for it even though I told him it was fine and that he didn't need to. He was a really nice guy, actually.

Here's what we learned from HorseMeatSandwich's story: Carson paid for his round AKA he didn't get comp'd. Carson plays golf with earphones in. Carson is a good golfing partner, as evidenced by the fact that he helped Mr. HorseMeatSandwich look for his ball.  Carson shot an 80. Carson does not eat Horse Meat Sandwiches.

Have you ever played golf or gone horse back riding with Carson Palmer? If so, tell your friends about it because we don't want to know.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

12 Years Later: Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger Finally Gets Degree From Miami, Ohio

Ben Roethlisberger actually did something productive with his
offseason (photo via @MiamiUAD_b2)
When most people hear the words "Ben Roethlisberger" and "offseason," their first reaction is "oh crap, what'd he do this time?"

In 2006, Roethlisberger tried to kill himself on a motorcycle.

Roethlisberger graduated college this
offseason, in 2006, he almost killed himself.
(AP/Keith Srakocic) 
In both 2009 and 2010 Roethlisberger was accused of rape. Although to be fair, the 2009 case (the Nevada case) actually happened in 2008, he just wasn't accused until 2009 and he wasn't accused of rape, he was accused of sexual assault. And to be even more fair, no criminal charges were filed in either case.

Anyway, thanks to Ben's newest offseason endeavor, you can stop the Rapistberger jokes and start making "college graduate-berger" jokes because Roethlisberger is now officially a college grad.

The Steelers quarterback walked in Miami University's graduation ceremony on Sunday, 12 years after enrolling at the school. He received a Bachelor's of Science degree in Education.

Roethlisberger, who QB'd Miami from 2001 to 2003, holds pretty much every career quarterbacking record at the school: most pass attempts (1304), most completions (854), most touchdown passes (84), most passing yards (10,829), anyway, we don't want to bore you, but there are more here.

Of course Roethlisberger's most notable accomplishment came in 2003. In his final game at Miami, Roethlisberger and the Redhawks beat the elephant testicles out of Bobby Petrino and Louisville in the GMAC Bowl.

Margin-wise, it's one of Petrino's top 10 worst losses as a coach and it still is Petrino's largest bowl loss to date. Everyone hates Bobby Petrino, so this should make everyone happy.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

TMZ: Former NFL Star Junior Seau Found Dead, Apparent Suicide

The scene outside of Junior Seau's house in San Diego
(via @AdamHousley)
Former NFL linebacker Junior Seau was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide, according to Seau's body was found at his home in San Diego, where he spent 13 of his 20 NFL seasons.
Seau played for the Chargers, Patriots
and Dolphins in his 20-year NFL career. 

According to Fox News correspondent Adam Housley, Seau was found dead by his girlfriend with a gunshot wound to the chest.

UT-San Diego reports that a 911 call regarding a suicide was made around 10 a.m. PT.

Seau becomes the eighth member of Chargers 1994 Super Bowl team to pass away. All were under the age of 45 when the passed.

In October 2010, Seau was arrested for domestic violence.

Hours after being released from jail in 2010, Seau drove his Cadillac Escalade off of a cliff in Carlsbad, Calif.

Seau insisted he wasn't trying to kill himself and that he had simply fallen asleep at the wheel.

The NFL has faced widespread criticism about it's handling of concussions and Seau's suicide isn't going to help.

Seau's vehicle after the former NFL star drove
off a cliff in 2010. 
If reports are true that Seau did in fact shoot himself in the chest, he may have done it to preserve his brain, just as former Bear Dave Duerson did when he committed suicide in February 2011.

Studies on Duerson's brain ultimately proved that he suffered from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative disease linked to reported head trauma.

The NFL is currently being sued by dozens of former players who allege that the league, other than the last three or four years, has looked the other way on concussions. Seau's death may only bolster the case that the former players have against the NFL in what could turn out to be a multi-billion dollar lawsuit.

According to, as of April 24, 62 players are involved in the lawsuit against the league.

The suit was changed from a personal injury case to a wrongful death lawsuit following the suicide of former Atlanta Falcons safety Ray Easterling. Easterling died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 19, 2012.