|Aroldis Chapman's hotel room was robbed Tuesday,|
however, the suspect did not get away with
Chapman's prized princess backpack.
Pittsburgh police are currently investigating the situation, but if they're as bad at their jobs as the Pirates are, the investigation could take years.
On a somewhat positive note, Chapman has seemingly been unfazed by the robbery, his arrest and the pending lawsuit: the Cuban missile has given up exactly zero earned runs this season in 26 innings pitched.