Reds-Cardinals Fight: First Inning Hug Fest Turns into First Inning Slug Fest

(Did the Reds and Cardinals decide to have a hug-off in the middle of the game? Was this a giant first inning prayer group? Or was it an awesome fight? Probably No. 2)

For some reason unbeknownst to us, the Cardinals got pissed on Monday because Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips called them all 'a bunch of bitches.' Although his statement was 99 percent accurate, St. Louis players still took offense to it. How could they be offended by something so true? What a bunch of bitches, right?

Anyway, we weren't at the game, but we had several Facebook friends attend and they posted a couple photos. So we stole them. The picture at the top of the page is a grainy cell phone photo. The female who took it has no future as a photographer.

The fight started in the first inning when Brandon Phillips (yes the same guy that basically called the Cardinals a bunch of vaginas) was batting. He took his bat out and gave Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina a friendly tap on his shin guard, Molina reacted to the friendly tap like a 'bitch' would, he instigated a bench clearing brawl.

By the way, if the Reds don't want to be bitches themselves, they need to avoid the sweep today. The game starts in 28 minutes (12:35 p.m.), so stop reading this and start watching the game.

UPDATE: Our lone commenter directed us toward this: the Reds-Cardinals brawl re-enacted in bobblehead form. Except for your parents having sex, everything is cooler when it's re-enacted in bobblehead form. You can hit this link and go to Mo Egger's blog or you can watch our cutoff version below (again, we have no technological wherewithal).

Oh, and the Reds got swept, which means everyone in the INSIC office has to do the same thing tomorrow morning, eat a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, but instead of milk, we have to use ranch dressing. Stupid f-ing Cardinals fans and their stupidly smart bets. They're all bitches.