Bengals Cheerleader Who Doesn't Have STD's Arrested for (Allegedly) Having Sex with Student

Sarah Jones' mugshot isn't the most attractive picture she's ever taken.

Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones apparently loves two things: 1. the spotlight and 2. (allegedly) having sex with her students.

First, for those of you that don't recognize her name, Jones was in the news back in August 2010 when she (kind of) successfully sued TheDirty.com.

Jones before she started sleeping
with students. 

TheDirty.com alleged that Jones was a walking STD and that she was having sex with several Bengals players. Jones denied it, filed a lawsuit and won. The only problem is that Jones sued Dirty World Entertainment Recordings, which owns TheDirt.com and not Dirty World LLC, which owns TheDirty.com.

Jones was awarded $11 million in that case, but still hasn't collected due to the mixup. A judge will rehear that case beginning in June. You can catch up on that case here.

Anyway, Jones is in the news again today because she has been arrested for (allegedly) having sex with one of her students. According to Fox 19, Jones resigned from her teaching post last November for "personal reasons." AKA she was (allegedly) sleeping with a student, but she wasn't giving the student any STD's because she doesn't have any, as we learned from the August 2010 case.

Jones (allegedly) slept with the student from October until December of last year.

Jones lawyer, who 19 months ago we called the worst lawyer ever, can't really defend her right now because he's suspended by the Kentucy Bar Association.

The best part about this: Jones appeared on the Anderson Cooper show back in November to talk about how TheDirty.com's STD allegations had ruined her life. What she forgot to tell Anderson Cooper on the show is that she was a month into a sexual escapade with a high school kid.

Sarah Jones probably didn't tell Anderson Cooper she
was (allegedly) boning a high school kid when she went
on his show in November.

Jones' mother Cheryl Jones, an elementary school principal, was also arrested.

Both ladies are due in court on April 2.

Sarah Jones has been charged with first-degree sexual abuse and unlawful use of electronic means to induce a minor to engage in sexual or other prohibited acts. In terms that Jose Canseco can understand, she used her cell phone to send text messages to a minor to setup sexual escapades.

Cheryl Jones was indicted on one charge of tampering with physical evidence.

The Jones' lawyer, Charles Lester Jr., has said that both women will plead not guilty.

The Bengals, who are always on top of everything (and still employ Jones as a Ben-Gal) have already released a statement, "The Club is aware of the situation and it's an ongoing process to collect the information that can guide the appropriate actions as warranted."

Bengals Cheerleader That Doesn't Have STD's Wins $11 Million, Only Problem: She Sued the Wrong Company

Back in December, gossip website Thedirty.com received a hot tip that a certain Bengals cheerleader was a walking STD. Thedirty posted a picture of Ben-Gal Sarah Jones and said she had our two personal favorite venereal diseases: chlamydia and gonorrhea.

Now if you didn't take slander 101 in college, here's the deal: publishing false information about people is kind of illegal. So if you accuse a girl of having an STD, she better have one because if she doesn't, she can file a lawsuit. Which pretty much means, unless the guy that runs Thedirty.com is Sarah Jones' gynecologist, he probably shouldn't be writing about her STD situation.

Anyway, Jones did take slander 101 in college, so she sued... and won. Yesterday, she was awarded $11 million (which breaks down like this: $10 million in punitive damages, $1 million in compensatory damages).

With $11 million in the bank, Jones could conceivably quit her day job as a school teacher. On the other hand, lets hope she hasn't turned in those resignation forms just yet.

Now you're probably wondering, "She's a millionaire. Why shouldn't she quit her job, go to Vegas and do cocaine off of Criss Angel's genitals for the rest of her life?"

BECAUSE SHE SUED THE WRONG COMPANY

Here's an interesting tidbit from politico.com: A Kentucky teacher and Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader sued the dirty.com -- or at least she thought she did. U.S. District Court Judge William O. Bertelsman on Wednesday ordered LOS ANGELES-based Dirty World Entertainment Recordings -- which the complaint said operates THEdirt.com -- to pay $11 million for failing to respond to the suit.

The only problem? Thedirty.com, which accused Jones of having 25 STD's, is a Scottsdale, Arizona based company (not Los Angeles based) called Dirty World LLC (not Dirty World Entertainment Recordings).

After the judgement, Jones' lawyer, Eric Deters, told Cincinnati.com, "This California company was brazen, they didn't defend it, they didn't come, they ignored [the case]."

Nik Ritchie, who runs theDirty.com, was probably thinking, "No shit we weren't there, we never got served. You sued some company in California, I'm in Arizona you dumb ass."

Deters, who is now currently the frontrunner for the "shittiest lawyer that ever lawyered" award, had told the media that the case was going to be slam dunk because the defendant didn't respond.

So lets sum this up for you: Bengals cheerleader/Norther Kentucky school teacher Sarah Jones gets accused of having two STD's that she doesn't have. She sues the site that makes the accusations (Thedirty.com), wins $11 million, finds out she sued the wrong site (thedirt.com) and now, she might not get the money.

Lets just all agree, having two STD's would be easier than going through this whole situation.

Finally, you're probably asking yourself, "INSIC, the only way this post could get awesomer is if you can somehow mention Shayne Graham." Done.

This whole thing started in October 2009 when TheDirty alleged that Sarah and Shayne Graham were having an affair. But she called it off after Shayne 'missed the uprights' in bed (Note: there was no affair and we don't even know what 'missing the uprights' means in this context).