Friday, August 27, 2010

Bengals Cheerleader That Doesn't Have STD's Wins $11 Million, Only Problem: She Sued the Wrong Company



Back in December, gossip website Thedirty.com received a hot tip that a certain Bengals cheerleader was a walking STD. Thedirty posted a picture of Ben-Gal Sarah Jones and said she had our two personal favorite venereal diseases: chlamydia and gonorrhea.

Now if you didn't take slander 101 in college, here's the deal: publishing false information about people is kind of illegal. So if you accuse a girl of having an STD, she better have one because if she doesn't, she can file a lawsuit. Which pretty much means, unless the guy that runs Thedirty.com is Sarah Jones' gynecologist, he probably shouldn't be writing about her STD situation.

Anyway, Jones did take slander 101 in college, so she sued... and won. Yesterday, she was awarded $11 million (which breaks down like this: $10 million in punitive damages, $1 million in compensatory damages).

With $11 million in the bank, Jones could conceivably quit her day job as a school teacher. On the other hand, lets hope she hasn't turned in those resignation forms just yet.

Now you're probably wondering, "She's a millionaire. Why shouldn't she quit her job, go to Vegas and do cocaine off of Criss Angel's genitals for the rest of her life?"

BECAUSE SHE SUED THE WRONG COMPANY

Here's an interesting tidbit from politico.com: A Kentucky teacher and Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader sued the dirty.com -- or at least she thought she did. U.S. District Court Judge William O. Bertelsman on Wednesday ordered LOS ANGELES-based Dirty World Entertainment Recordings -- which the complaint said operates THEdirt.com -- to pay $11 million for failing to respond to the suit.

The only problem? Thedirty.com, which accused Jones of having 25 STD's, is a Scottsdale, Arizona based company (not Los Angeles based) called Dirty World LLC (not Dirty World Entertainment Recordings).

After the judgement, Jones' lawyer, Eric Deters, told Cincinnati.com, "This California company was brazen, they didn't defend it, they didn't come, they ignored [the case]."

Nik Ritchie, who runs theDirty.com, was probably thinking, "No shit we weren't there, we never got served. You sued some company in California, I'm in Arizona you dumb ass."

Deters, who is now currently the frontrunner for the "shittiest lawyer that ever lawyered" award, had told the media that the case was going to be slam dunk because the defendant didn't respond.

So lets sum this up for you: Bengals cheerleader/Norther Kentucky school teacher Sarah Jones gets accused of having two STD's that she doesn't have. She sues the site that makes the accusations (Thedirty.com), wins $11 million, finds out she sued the wrong site (thedirt.com) and now, she might not get the money.

Lets just all agree, having two STD's would be easier than going through this whole situation.

Finally, you're probably asking yourself, "INSIC, the only way this post could get awesomer is if you can somehow mention Shayne Graham." Done.

This whole thing started in October 2009 when TheDirty alleged that Sarah and Shayne Graham were having an affair. But she called it off after Shayne 'missed the uprights' in bed (Note: there was no affair and we don't even know what 'missing the uprights' means in this context).





5 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha...."shittiest lawyer"...that's a good one... you're obviously a scared little beeeoootttchh. LoL
    last time i checked Deters was...ummm...let's see...broadcaster for the #1 Radio Station in the Midwest...700 WLW..."The Nation's Station"
    On the Cover of Cincinnati Magazine as the Tri State's "Most Interesting Person"
    Voted "BEST LAWYER IN THE TRISTATE" ....lol
    written books...fights for the little guy...and stands up for people's rights.
    Dude..(john breech..the guy who wrote the above aricle...who's quite possibly suffering from chronic delusions...or just plain jealousy)
    .No Worries Brother...you're not the only one out there who's gone wayward with their clouded perceptions...hang in there...maybe you'll even see the light someday.

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  2. With all those accolades you just listed, you seem to have left one big one out: filed multi-million dollar lawsuit against the wrong company. I'm pretty sure double checking who you're suing is the second or third thing they teach you in law school.

    On a side note, I actually like Deters radio show.

    By the way, if I was "a scared little beeeoootttchh," I probably wouldn't post under my real name, I would post anonymously (kind of like you did).

    On a more positive note, great use of ellipses.

    On a not so positive note, unless you're a 14-year-old girl, you probably shouldn't use LOL.

    Otherwise, great comment.

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  3. obviously this lawyer is a fucking moron and no matter what WLW or anyone in the very ignorant city of Cincinnati says when you lambast a respondent who you never served you ain't that great Son. Cincinnati is really becoming the mecca for idiots that support losing pro teams with way more off field action than on. I realize this floozie is from N. Ky but come on that is where all are moving to get the fuck out of Hamilton Co.
    Furthermore, this Gunch reeks of skankdom, opportunism and reeks less of a hot bodied babe. Her ribs stick out more than her tits, she has baby fat on her legs, her face says "fuck me my IQ is 10", and has been accused of fucking a student she taught. As superficial as sites like these are and mags like the National Inquirer are, they do seem to get some things right on the button at times. This really seems like one of those times. This slut is going to do time and never see a penny from a lawsuit. And thank God for both!

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  4. great article/blog. i enjoyed reading it. entertaining indeed :)

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