Saturday, August 21, 2010

Cardinals TV Announcer Gets DUI; St. Louis Responds by Losing Five Straight Games

(Pictured above is St. Louis Cardinals TV announcer Dan McLaughlin, and yes, we're wondering the same things: Is McLaughlin cross-eyed and drunk, just cross-eyed or just drunk?)

The Cardinals were off last Monday, so St. Louis play-by-play man Dan McLaughlin went out and did what any Fox Sports Midwest announcer would do, he got completely tanked and drove home.

According to St. Louis Today, Fox Sports is going to give McLaughlin Saturday and Sunday off for 'personal reasons.' Allegedly, that personal reason is so that McLaughlin can recover from the hangover that he's been nursing for the last five days.

The Cardinals dedicated every game they played this past week to McLaughlin and ironically enough, they played like they were drunker than him during his DUI arrest as they proceeded to lose each game.

McLaughlin will be back in the booth on Monday when the Cardinals travel to Pittsburgh. St. Louis area authorities have told McLaughlin that he will not have to go to jail since watching the Pirates play for three games is more punishment than any one person should ever have to suffer through.

On an unrelated note, since McLaughlin's DUI on Monday, the Reds have absolutely taken over the National League Central, this is what the standings look like:

1. Cincinnati 71-51
2. St. Louis 65-54, 4.5 games back
3-6 Who Cares

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