Reds Fan Catches Two Home Runs In a Row, then Gives Them Both Away

The Reds fireworks guy worked OT against the Braves on
Monday (photo via flickr)

Home run balls are a lot like sex-starved super model girlfriends: you're chances of getting one are around zero percent. Unless your Caleb Lloyd that is.

During the fourth inning of Monday's Reds-Braves game, Lloyd caught not one, but two home runs. Even more amazing, the home runs were back-to-back. Even more amazing than that, Lloyd gave both home run balls AWAY. Even more amazing than that, Lloyd spells his last name with TWO 'L's'!!

Anyway, back to Lloyd and the Reds.

Caleb Lloyd caught two home run balls,
but kept zero of them.
(Photo via Cincinnati Enquirer)

With two outs in the bottom of the fourth, pitcher Mike Leake jacked his first career home run off of Braves starter Mike Minor.

The ball literally landed right in Lloyd's hand. "I caught it and then it bounced off the palm of my hand and then I reached out and grabbed it," Lloyd told the Cincinnati Enquirer. "It hurt really bad, so I'm like, 'I'm not doing that again.'"

Hungover people say "I'm not doing that again" all the time, and they always do it again, and so did Lloyd. Three pitches after Leake's homer, Zack Cozart smashed a home run into the left field stands and guess who caught it: Lloyd.

"The second one bounced behind me and then bounced in my lap," Lloyd said. "My buddy's like, 'you caught a second one!' I was like 'oh my gosh, this is crazy.'"

Even crazier, the Reds got a third home run in a row -- that Lloyd didn't catch -- when Drew Stubbs jacked one out of the park. It was Stubbs' second homer of the day.

In the Reds 4-1 win over the Braves, all five runs came via solo homers.

The story's not over though. Instead of rubbing it in everyone's face that he caught two home run balls, Lloyd did something slightly nicer: he gave both of them away.

He gave Leake's homer back to Leake, "I gave it back because I know it's Leake's first ever home run. I just want to meet him and shake his hand."

As for Cozart's home run ball, Lloyd threw it at a stray dog outside Great American Ballpark. OK, that's a lie. He gave it to his friend. "I gave the Cozart one to my buddy, whose uncle actually got us the tickets. I gave him the ball because he was kind of one of the reasons I was here."

Click here for a video interview with Lloyd. Click here for a clip of the Reds' back-to-back-to-back home runs. Click here if you've always wanted to order a shake weight, but couldn't find the website.

Reds-Braves Day Long Diary: Walk-off Grand Slam Edition

There weren't enough cyanide pills in the entire city of Atlanta to meet the demand of Reds fans following Thursday's 10-9, walk-off grand slam loss. How sad was everyone in Red? These were the two happiest Cincinnati fans we could find.

We just had an awesome idea here at INSIC. Instead of writing a 5,000 word day-long diary like we do for Bengals games, we're just going to show you pictures and put captions beneath them. People love pictures, especially drunk people and people that can't read. So we're pandering to our alcoholic and illiterate readers today.

Are we lazy for not writing a diary? Kind of.

Well you enjoy pictures more? Maybe.

Was the nacho cheese at Turner Field the same color as animal urine? Mostly yes.

11:44 a.m.: Yes, Atlanta is in the south. No, the cops don't racially profile people here, but they do team profile. As the only Reds fans on the bus to the game, we were forced to sit in the back. Now I know what Rosa Parks felt like.

1:34 p.m.: When I walked into Turner Field, the first thing I saw was Reds journeyman catcher Ramon Hernandez batting. Hernandez has been playing professional baseball for 11 years, he was good for two of those. If there are two things I've learned in my 28 years as a Reds fan, its this: if there was a Hall of Fame of awesomeness, Chris Sabo would be in it and if Ramon Hernandez leads an inning off with a single, only good things can happen (This only happens maybe twice a year). Hernandez hit a single. Six batters later, Joey Votto (pictured below) comes to the plate with the bases loaded. He hits a grand slam. To me, grand slams are like unicorns, until I personally see one, I refused to believe they exist. Grand slams now exist. The jury is still out on unicorns.

2:06 p.m.: Before today, the only thing I ever bought from big black guys was illegal drugs. Now I can add cotton candy to that list.

2:41 p.m.: Here's the short list of people who kick dirt while they're on base: Eight-year-olds, T-ball players, Reds pitcher Mike Leake. If I didn't know any better, I would say Leake just got grounded by his parents, which is possible because I think he's only 15.

3:01 p.m.: Here is the winner of INSIC's first ever "I am sitting in a section where tickets cost $50 a pop, yet I have no consideration for others, therefore I'm an Ass" award. Yep, you win the award Mr. I brought an umbrella to the game and am now impeding the view of everyone behind me. At least six people wanted to punch this guy. Can't confirm that he ever got punched though.

4:01 p.m.: Hi, we're the Reds bullpen, we blew a 6-run lead in the 9th inning. Calling us worthless would probably be an understatement. We're horrible at everything, except for negotiation, which we're actually pretty awesome at. Think about it, we all know that Francisco Cordero is only worth about $1.2 million a year, yet he somehow managed to score a $12.5 million a year contract. We're trying to get A-Rod numbers for Nick Masset.

Of course this wouldn't be complete without footage of the grand slam, so either scroll down to the next post or if you don't know what the word 'scroll' means, then just click here.

Reds Lose on Walk-Off Grand Slam: You Can Bet Your Neighbor's Crack Rock That INSIC Was There

If you're a Cincinnati Reds fan, you're probably asking yourself three questions right now:

What part of my body is the safest place to cut to ensure death?

Is this worse than the Bengals loss to the Broncos in September?

Was my favorite blog "Its Never Sunny in Cincinnati" at the game?

The answers, in order: the jugular, yes and of course.

This video is all your getting for now. Friday morning, John Breech will provide a day long diary that will make any serious Reds fan cry.

Until then, debate with your mom two things: who Brooks Conrad is and why the Reds are paying Francisco Cordero $15 million a year.

Reds Sweep Up Atlanta Over Labor Day Weekend

John helps Turner Field security sweep up the park after the Reds take 3 of 3 from the Braves.

The Reds have caused me more stomach pain this season than a glass of unfiltered Mexican tap water. I gave up on them sometime around mid-July.

Once August rolls around, there's really only two reasons to go to a game: to see if Michah Owings will die and to cross your fingers and hope that there is a "Bark in the Park" promotion going on so that you can feed the dogs chocolate and give them fake names.

After attending exactly ZERO Reds games all season, I finally hit up my first one on Sunday. It was me, four friends, my broom, my brother, my sister-in-law, someone who followed us from a Taco Bell parking lot and two strangers we picked up in a seedy part of the city. The perfect combination of people if you ask me.

While everyone got drunk on $8.00 beers, I refrained, instead I ate dippin' dots. The Reds are an astonishing 11-0 when I eat 'The Ice Cream of the Future.' And thanks to Michah Owings left temple, they're now 12-0.

For anyone that missed SportsCenter Sunday night. The Reds and Braves were tied 2-2 in the top of the 11th. It was bases loaded for Cincinnati and everyone's favorite pitcher who also pinch hits, Michah Owings, was batting.


OWINGS GETS DRILLED (LINK HIGHLIGHTED)
Twelve seconds later, Braves pitcher Kenshin Kawakami drilled Owings in the head. Kawakami drilled him so hard that 40 percent of the people in the stadium thought Owings was dead. Miraculously, Owings didn't die. What occurred turned out to be the sweetest game-winning RBI ever.

Because the bases were loaded, Owings getting hit by the pitch scored a run for the Reds. Me and my new dog friend (Pete Rose Jr, pictured below) were the only ones that brought a broom to the stadium. So we were pretty excited. (Pete Rose Jr's broom was around his neck, mine was not.)

By the way, the dog's name was not Pete Rose Jr., that's just what I called him.

I think his real name was spot, so we can probably all agree that Pete Rose Jr. is a way better name.

Now that the Reds season is unofficially over, it's time to buy a dog, name him Ickey Woods Jr and get ready for the Bengals.

Oh, and here's why I don't make friends with anyone in Atlanta. In the 11th inning, some guy below us had eight undranken beers. Seriously dude, those things are $8.00 a piece, I could have bought a new Wii game with the amount of money you spent on beer.

(By the way, I know undranken is not a word, that is why I have highlighted it, please no emails unless you work for Merriam-Webster and you're writing to tell me undranken and Breechesque will be included in this year's edition of the dictionary.)

Douchebag with his 8 beers pictured below. In his defense the one he is holding is half empty, so he actually is only wasting 7 and a half beers.

And in case you're wondering, yes, Turner Field does stop selling beer in the seventh. How does this guy still have 8 beers in the 11th, only God and Pete Coors know.