Bengals Don't Waste Any Time Getting Terrell Owens Playbook Ready

The news of Terrell Owens signing with the Bengals is less than 18 hours old, but as you can see in the picture above, the team wasted no time in getting T.O.'s playbook ready.

The funniest thing about the playbook picture above is this: take a gander at Chad's playbook. The man changed his last name to Ochocinco two years ago, but Marvin Lewis doesn't seem to care, the playbook still says "Chad Johnson."

By the way as Chad sauntered in to Georgetown today for training camp, he had a bold statement for reporters, telling them it would be "a fucking shame if we don't win the Super Bowl."

So now you're probably wondering, "great, Chad thinks we're going to win a Super Bowl, that must mean every game is a sellout this this year, right?"

Geoff Hobson over at Bengals.com has this report from the Bengals ticket office:

Andrew Brown, director of ticket sales, said Wednesday morning that since the news of Owens' signing broke Tuesday night the Bengals have sold more season tickets than they did all last week combined. Brown called action "brisk but not overwhelming," and said single-game tickets have also spiked with the Sept. 19 home opener against the Ravens in the lead. The Nov. 8 Monday night game against the Steelers has already been hot and Brown says tickets are limited.

It sounds like Brown is saying the Bengals sold eight season tickets last week and they have beaten that total by already selling nine this week.

Oh and one more thing: to the people in the Bengals front office: If the negotiation team worked half as fast as the playbook production team, Jermaine Gresham would have been signed the day after the draft.

Cris Collinsworth and TNT's Craig Sager Star in "INSIC's Awesome Pictures of the Week"

Yesterday we promised you pictures of TNT's NBA sideline reporter Craig Sager. Today we provide them in our new Tuesday segment called "INSIC's Awesome Pictures of the Week."

Although please keep in mind that there is a very good chance that our new Tuesday segment won't run next Tuesday or ever again.

Former Bengals wide receiver Cris Collinsworth is in the picture at the top of the page. Every year, Bengals fans debate whether or not Collinsworth is a true fan, this picture should finally put that argument to rest. He has whiskers for God's sake.

C-squared sported the face paint in New York today on the set of Inside the NFL.

Now lets get to the Craig Sager picture we promised you.

In the shot below, Sager is standing on the 18th green at the Atlanta Athletic Club in Johns Creek, Georgia. When it comes to picking out clothes, it's quite clear that Sager is either color blind or shops with a blindfold on. If you ever see him, please ask him which one it is and relay the answer back to us.

When Sager isn't golfing, you can usually find him in one of his goofy suits (pictured below).

If the Stock Market Crashes Today, Blame the Cast of Jersey Shore

While ringing the opening bell on Wall Street today, the cast of Jersey Shore proved one thing: the New York Stock Exchange no longer has any standards when it comes to selecting 'famous' (and we use that term loosely) people to open up the trading day.

Today, Snooki, the Situation, Pauly D, J-Woww and some other people with weird nicknames made their way to the trading floor to ring the opening bell. This was all to promote season 2 of Jersey Shore, which kicks off on MTV on Thursday. Of course if you're a female between the ages of 15 and 29, you already knew that Jersey Shore kicks off Thursday because you've had your DVR set for it since December.

Our second favorite Jersey Shore cast member, Angelina Pivarnick, had a Facebook status update this morning that said her and the jersey gang were headed to Wall Street to ring the bell. We thought she was playing a terrible joke on humanity. Well it turns out she wasn't lying.

By the way, if you want to see pictures of Pivarnick's cleavage (like the one below), you're going to have to befriend on her on Facebook because Angelina got the boot for season 3 (or she quit, depending on whom you believe). According to every gossip site on the internet, this is Pivarnick's final season on the show.

Unfortunately this isn't the first time we've tortured our readers with a Jersey Shore themed post. In February, we chastised Ochocinco for embarrassing the Bengals organization, his city and his family when he posed for a picture with Pauly D and the Situation.

He still hasn't apologized.

T.O. to the Bengals is Only a Signature Away From Happening

Just what the world needed: the new TMZ Sports Department to start gaining credibility. On the totem pole of respectable sports sites, TMZ ranks right below us and right above this blog. However, thanks to their Terrell Owens report Friday, they are slowly moving up.

On Friday, the same website that shows live feeds of Linsday Lohan court hearings, one upped everyone in the NFL world (Adam Schefter, Everyone at ESPN, Profootballtalk, Chris Mortensen, Jay Glazer, Jason La Canfora, Peter King) when they reported that Terrell Owens signing with the Bengals was 'imminent.'

(Was Adam Schefter asleep at the wheel when the T.O. rumors started. ESPN's favorite insider refuted TMZ's initial Terrell Owens to the Bengals report)

After TMZ broke the news, every sports reporter in the country laughed at them, then they laughed some more and then when they were finally done laughing, they 'rebuked' the Terrell Owens to the Bengals story with their own 'sources.'

Today, it looks like TMZ's tip paid off. At 4:42 p.m., Enquirer Bengals beat writer Joe Reedy tweeted:

Why did this all happen?

Why didn't we just sign T.O. in March?

Great questions.

Back in March, the Bengals went with Antonio Bryant, even though everybody knows that there are middle school chess players with more receiving talent than Antonio Bryant.

The Bengals finally realized this and now they're trying to bring T.O. to town.

Anyway, lets just point out one more thing: there is a currently someone on the Bengals coaching staff that is going to have a resume that looks like this:

Convinced Cincinnati to sign untalented, washed up receiver Laveranues Coles to completely overpriced contract.

Convinced Cincinnati to sign untalented, washed up receiver Antonio Bryant to completely overpriced contract.

Alright, we're going to close with this, here's our final take from Bryant's March signing, as we wrote on March 10:

Final Take: If we were Mike Brown, besides selling the team to a really rich, win-at-all costs owner, we would probably have gone with T.O. It would have been cheaper and we would have only had to sign him to a one or two year deal.

Coming tomorrow: TNT NBA sideline reporter Craig Sager doesn't just wear ridiculous outfits on the basketball court, he wears them on the golf course.

Cincinnati Bengals Fans Will Be Among First to Answer this Question: Can You Kill Someone With New Xbox Kinect?

If you're a normal human being, chances are, you don't follow the video game industry.

On the lowly scale of "people who are huge losers and probably have no friends": there are stamp collectors, male Twilight fans, bloggers (like us) and at the very bottom, there are video game bloggers.

If you know a video game blogger, they're probably not your friend, mainly because there day goes like this: six hours of Playstation 3, eight hours of Xbox, six hours of Wii, three hours and 52 minutes of sleep, eight minutes for eating and going to the bathroom. There's just not a lot of time in there for friends.

Anyway, the point here is that the Nintendo Wii outsells every other system. However, Microsoft is going to try and beat them this fall with something called the Kinect.

We don't want to call the people at Microsoft liars, but here's what they claim the Kinect can do:

1. They claim it can have sex with you.

2. They claim you won't have to go to church anymore because you'll just

be able to worship the system.

3. They claim it can launch surface-to-air-missiles at select Middle Eastern countries.

4. They say it can be played without a controller.

Three of the above claims are lies. To us, number three seems the most believable.

Since we don't know what to believe, lets let an actual video game blogger describe the system:

Microsoft’s big reveal at this year’s E3 was the Xbox 360 Kinect. It is a new peripheral for the 360 that allows players to interact with the console using their body as the controller. The Kinect is essentially a camera mounted on or near your T.V. and is able to detect the movement of the human body. Microsoft boasts that this control method will be the most intuitive way to take control of your games.

So what's the point of this whole post?

Before Kinect comes out in November, Microsoft has decided to force it on the country (like Ben Roethlisberger forcing himself on any underage girl at a bar) by taking the Kinect on a tour of a select few American cities.

August 4-8, the "Kinect the Country" tour will be in Canton for the Hall-of-Fame induction celebrations and the Bengals-Cowboys game.

So if you're a Bengals fan heading to Canton and you get to play the Kinect; please let us know which Middle Eastern Countries you bombed and what sexual position it likes best.

Did the Super Bowl XLIV Game Program Make a Big Mistake or is the Saints Roman Harper a Master of Disguise: You Decide

We don't know who picks out the player photos for the NFL's Super Bowl program, but chances are that person was fired on February 8.

Earlier today, an astute reader sent us New Orleans safety Roman Harper's Super Bowl program picture (Top of page). The only problem, that's not Roman Harper in the picture. It's actually New Orleans second-year wide receiver Rod Harper. (The real Roman Harper is pictured at right, click on Rod Harper's name to see his picture).

Because of this egregious error, INSIC went ahead and put together of a list of mistakes that are OK to make and mistakes that are not OK to make.

Mistakes that are not OK:

1. Getting a stripper pregnant at your bachelor party.

2. Selling low grade cocaine to an undercover cop... at church

3. Putting the wrong picture of Roman Harper in a Super Bowl program.

Mistakes that are OK:

1. Accidentally getting a stripper pregnant during a threesome that consists of you, the stripper and a girl that looks like Megan Fox and might actually be Megan Fox but you can't tell because you are to drunk.

2. Sleeping in a maple syrup filled bath tub after a night of heavy drinking. And then waking up in the morning and beating the shit out of all your friends because they filled a bath tub with maple syrup.

3. Running over your girlfriends cat.

By the way, we don't think anyone ever told Roman about the mistake because he didn't tweet about it back in February.

What Happens to Ochocinco in Vegas Apparently Doesn't Stay in Vegas

The last time someone from INSIC showed up at a casino in their underwear, three cops were called, four people spent the night in jail and a cat somehow ended up inside of a half empty bottle of tequila.

Of course, if you're The Ocho, you can do whatever you want in your underwear and not worry about consequences.

Chad was up early gambling this morning. He tweeted this photo to America around 9 a.m. Las Vegas time.

For our five Mexican readers out there, we had this next photo saved in case Mexico won the World Cup, but since they didn't, we might as well run it now.

Steelers fans are probably asking themselves: What's more annoying, Ochocinco or a vuvuzela?