Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Who Dey Revolution, ESPN.com Go National With Bengals Ineptitude... Oh and Check Out BengalsBeerGuy.com
Earlier this week, beloved Bengals owner Mike Brown summed up his grasp on reality with this quote to ESPN.com, "Well, if they've got that kind of money, they ought to buy some tickets." Brown was referring to Who Dey revolution spending $1,000 to embarrass Bengals management at training camp.
Brown has probably never been to the WDR website, but anyone with a Dartmouth degree (Brown has one) should be able to put 2 and 2 together.If someone is paying $1,000 to advertise to the world that you've been a complete and total failure at your job for the past 18 years, they probably want nothing to do with your product.
Let me put this into perspective for Mr. Brown: If you went into a nice restaurant and ordered a Filet Mignon and they served you a dead squirrel with a side of cheetos, you would probably be pretty pissed.
Now, if you went to that restaurant 18 times and the squirrel thing happened 17 of those times, you would be even more pissed, my guess is that you would probably never go to that restaurant again.
Brown needs to understand that Bengals football is getting to this point. Fans want a Filet Mignon, he's serving up a dead squirrel. Now I like dead squirrels as much as the next fan, but I can only stomach about 10 of them before I start to get sick. The Bengals hit the 10 seasons of failure point in 2000.
In the coming days, INSIC is going on the offensive.
Will we make fun of Bengals football? Probably.
Will we write an article about how the second 3 Ninjas movie was intellectually less stimulating then the first one? Maybe.
Will John Breech pick the Bengals to win the AFC North in his annual NFL preview? You bet.
Will he be able to justify said pick? Good Question.
Also, check out bengalsbeerguy.com, it's a website by a Bengals fan/soldier in Iraq. As if this guy's life isn't scary enough (he's in Iraq, which is about as safe as dating Ryan Jenkins), the man spends his downtime cheering for the Bengals.The only more painful combination I can think of is if you're in the Libyan national military and a fan of the Lions.
No death threats from my Libyan readers please.
Alright, I have to go, I'll be on the phone with Andre Smith's agent if you need me.