Thursday, March 17, 2011

Mr. Redlegs + March Madness + St. Patrick's Day = One Drunk Mascot

Mr. Redlegs got to the bar at 6 a.m. this morning proving that everyone in
Cincinnati, is in fact, an alcoholic. Oh and ladies, we talked to Mr. Redlegs,
he would like you to know that mustache rides are not free.
In America, there are more St. Patrick's Day traditions then there are mixed raced babies in Kansas.
Is this a picture of bangers and mash or
is cooked Donkey penis a new St.
Patrick's Day tradition. You Decide!

On the food side of things, there's Bangers and Mash, Corned Beef and Cabbage and of course there's that thing that looks like a frat house toilet bowl that hasn't been cleaned in eight months: Shepherd's Pie.

On the beer side of things, Guiness, Harp and Green Bud Light are always popular. However, it's probably in your best interests not to order Green Miller Lite though, because if you do those stuck up stereotyping, profiling, bartending snobs in the Miller Lite commercials won't serve you.

On the other hand, if you're not into St. Patrick's Day beer or food, there's one tradition that's a little less known but still fun to partake in: drunk mascot sex. If you've never had drunk mascot sex on St. Patrick's Day, then technically you're still a virgin. And as everyone knows, being a virgin sucks, which is why, we are here to tell you how to score with a mascot tonight.

The secret to scoring with a mascot tonight: Find Mr. Redlegs, he was at a bar this MORNING, he is getting drunker by the second and by the time the Bearcat game tips off at 9:50 tonight, there's a good chance he'll be ready to have a 12-some with anyone over the age of 10.

And remember, if you do find Mr. Redlegs: drunk mascot sex is OK, drunk mascot rape is not.

Happy St. Patrick's/You might actually lose your virginity for real Day from INSIC.

By the way, in case you're wondering who to gamble your rent money on this afternoon, we like: Clemson, Old Dominion, Louisville, Temple, Kentucky, Pitt and Richmond. If you get drunk enough, feel free to make it an 7-team parlay.

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