Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Bengals-Colts Pick, plus Absolutely Nothing Else

Week 6 picks were put up late, here's proof they were finished on time.
by john breech

(Editor's note: the INSIC internet connection was down this weekend, for the sake of continuity, we're publishing our picks from week 6)

There was one email in the INSIC inbox this week, which is one more than there was last month. It said something about "blah, blah, blah, please explain the picks you make each week and stop with the power rankings, no one cares about power rankings that don't make sense."

First of all, they do make sense. Second of all, they kind of don't. So with that in mind. We're going all game picks this week.

Week 6 Picks

Indianapolis at Cincinnati: If you would have told me last April that the starting quarterbacks in this game would be Andy Dalton and Curtis Painter. I would have punched you in the face, set your car on fire and then stolen your shoes. Curtis Painter is going to get punched in the face today by the Bengals defense. Bengals 24-17. 

Cleveland at Oakland: The Raiders are planning some sort of wild celebration/funeral for the game Sunday. You have to figure they can milk at least three victories out of Al Davis' death. By the way, Raiders fans are so crazy that no one should be surprised if riots break out in Oakland if the Raiders win this game. Let the riots start, Raiders 28-20 over the Browns.

San Francisco at Detroit: When I can't decide who to pick in a game, I generally go with the team that Alex Smith doesn't play for. Lions 27-20 over San Francisco. 

Carolina at Atlanta: The formula for picking Panthers games is pretty simple this season: Cam Newton will throw for 900 yards and Carolina will lose. So I'll say Newton throws for 900 yards and Carolina loses 31-28. 

St. Louis at Green Bay: If the Packers lose this game, I will do one of two things: I will cut Aaron Rodgers from my fantasy team and get made fun of by everyone in my league or I will cut the big toe off of my left foot. Please vote in the comments section which you would like to see, but only if the Packers lose. Green Bay 34-17 over St. Louis.

Is Homeless to Harvard actually
the Ryan Fitzpatrick story?
Buffalo at New York Giants: Three years ago I got drunk and watched a movie on Lifetime called "Homeless to Harvard." Its about some homeless girl who eventually goes to Harvard. I also feel like its Ryan Fitzpatrick's life story, so I'm picking the Bills. Buffalo 27-24 over the Giants.

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh: When it comes to picking NFL games, I have three rules: never pick the Steelers, never bet on Blaine Gabbert and always take the Steelers at home against a team quarterbacked by Blaine Gabbert. I think some these rules contradict each other, so I'm just going to take the Steelers 31-21. 

Philadelphia at Washington: If the Eagles lose this game THEIR SEASON IS OVER. Andy Reid only loses important games at the end of the season, which means the Eagles win this one 30-27.

Houston at Baltimore: Unfortunately for Houston, they only do two things in Maryland: crab cakes and football. Ravens 27-21 over the Texans.

Dallas at New England: Tony Romo in a big game is like letting an anorexic loose in an all-you-can eat buffet. Its not going to be pretty. Patriots over the Cowboys 34-24. 

New Orleans at Tampa Bay: Drew Brees to Jimmy Graham is the new Montana to Rice. I'll take the Saints 30-24.

The Dolphins have to be the frontrunners
in the "Suck for Luck" campaign.
Minnesota at Chicago: Chicago is a decent team and decent teams don't get embarrassed on national television two weeks in a row. Using my horrible logic, this means since the Bears lost last week, they can't lose this week. Bears 24-17 over the Vikings.

Miami Dolphins at New York Jets: Hey Miami, its called "Suck for Luck," not "Give up in the second quarter and forfeit for Luck." So anyway, I think the Dolphins give up in the second quarter and forfeit. I'll take the Jets 27-14. 

Week 5 Picks

Straight-up: 9-4
SU Overall: 55-22
Against the Spread: 8-5
ATS Overall: 43-34
Exact Week 5 Picks: 0
Exact Picks Overall: 2

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