Friday, November 19, 2010

Is Nike Going to Completely Redesign the Cincinnati Bengals Uniforms? No, but Someone Went Through A Lot of Trouble to Convince you Otherwise

Are these the Bengals new jersey's? Lets pray to Paul Brown that they're not. 

In case you haven't heard, back in October, the NFL announced that Nike will start manufacturing NFL jersey's beginning in 2012. So that jersey you're wearing now, you should just set it on fire because it will be worthless and outdated in two years.

The NFL puts the jersey rights up to bid every few years and Nike, who has a bank account with 77 Bajilliion, million, Bill Gatesillion dollars in it, outbid Reebok for the rights to produce the jerseys.

If you've ever watched an Oregon football game, then you know that Nike designing anything uniform related is a horrible idea. How horrible of an idea is it, it's on par with letting a hungry lion babysit your 9-month old baby.

Anyway, shortly after the Nike-jersey announcement was made, Nike Executive Charlie Denson was quoted as saying that Nike planned on "changing the NFL jersey dramatically, just like we've done with college programs."

Earlier today, a crazy NFL fan with 48 free hours on his hands scared the shit out of every on the internet when he released 32 sketches. The jersey sketches were reported to be leaked from Nike and they were reported to be the jersey that each team will be wearing in 2012.

However, Nike denies that they would sketch something so ugly and they say they have nothing to do with the jersey images that showed up on the internet this morning.

Apparently a fan took it upon himself to design new uniforms for all 32 NFL teams. Now there's crazy (locking your neighbor's cat in a closet without food or water for nine days) and then there's crazy -- wasting three days of your life designing 32 NFL uniforms that are arguably uglier than Joan Rivers plastic-surgery botched, impossible to look at face (Seriously, we dare you to try and stare at that face for more than 30 seconds).

If you want to see all 32 designs, go here. If you ate Count Chocula for breakfast this morning and now have no more and are currently wondering where you can get more, go here. 

Oh and for some reason, even though we're a Cincinnati blog, half of our readers are Pittsburgh fans, so here's a picture of the Steelers sketch.

It is not known if the Steelers pants will have a hole in the crotch so that Ben Roethlisberger won't even have to take them off when he sexually assaults 19-year-old girls. 

11 comments:

  1. For years the uniforms have depicted the menacing stripes of the Bengal tiger. Like the Who-Dey chant, they haven't accomplished anything. They can play in black sailor suit, with an orange tu-tu. As long as they are winning.

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  2. hey enjoy your mediocre season in cinci. us steelers fans will continue to enjoy our ring, after ring, after ring.....

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  3. most steeler fans are band wagon riders.

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  4. really ring after ring wait til the jets get done as mark sanchez throws all over ur weak secondary. u are prolly a retard who aint even watched a game. so go get fat and be dumb somewhere else

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  5. prolly a retard? really? wow, so i guess you were just being fat and dumb here, as opposed to somewhere else!

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  6. I agree the nike has to redesing the uniform to a more collorfull one. Same would happen if we do a estetica to our players.

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  7. That would suck for the Bagles. They all ready look like Tigger or Tony the Tiger. That would make them look stupider.

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  8. do the research Cincinnati has one of the best uniforms in the league right now. Says several polls at least their not plain and bland like the browns and steelers.

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  11. I've been hoping for awhile that the Bengals would adopt a White Bengal tiger style uniform for home games. There are no White tigers in the wild; only in captivity and I think it would be sweet to incorporate it in the mix. Not that they will do it but I think other Bengals fans would like it too.

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