Monday, March 1, 2010

Looks Like Ochocinco Will be Dancing With the Stars

(Chad may have to stretch a few more body parts if Julianne Hough is his partner)

According to, everyone's favorite NFL wide receiver has been cast for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars.

If you don't know what Dancing with the Stars is, ask your girlfriend, your mom, your sister, your fiance or your wife: one or all of them will know.

For all you men and/or Ochocinco fans out there, let us emphasize one thing here: you do not have to be embarrassed to watch the upcoming season. The show is basically a two hour soft core porn. The women wear next to nothing, they're almost all hot and the action is better than anything you can get on cinemax.

Here is how a normal conversation will go with your significant other during a Dancing with the Stars episode:

Her: Wow, that was an amazing dance move, I wish I could do that.

You (silently wishing she could do the move): No way honey, why would you wish you could spread your legs THAT wide?

If God loves the city of Cincinnati (and sadly, there's no reason to think he does) he will pair Ochocinco with Julianne Hough.

Who is Julianne Hough?

She is the hot blonde pictured three times below. Why three pictures? Easy.

We needed one of her playful side, one of her backside and one of her wearing a lacy black outfit.

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