Saturday, January 23, 2010

Bengals Celebrate Super Bowl XXIII Anniversary as Only the Bengals Can: By Raising 2010 Ticket Prices

If blogs existed in 1989, our first day here at INSIC would have been January 23. The day after Super Bowl XXIII, it definitely wasn't sunny in Cincinnati.

Every Bengals fan knows the story: Joe Montana hits John Taylor with a 10-yard pass that wins the Super Bowl. The touchdown came with only 34 seconds left in the game. The city of Cincinnati was on suicide watch for the rest of 1989.

Yesterday, the Bengals decided to celebrate the
21st anniversary of the franchise's biggest game in a way that only Mike Brown knows how: by raising ticket prices.

Here's how we imagine the conversation went between Katie Blackburn (Mike's daughter and executive Vice President), Mike Brown and Vince Cicero (Director of Corporate Sales and Marketing).

Brown: You two have eight minutes to tell me how we can make more money next year. And don't give me any of that 'field a good football team' crap, I'm tired of that.

Blackburn: Dad, studies have shown that fans will come to the games if a successful team is on the field.

Brown: Oh really honey, because I did a little study called 'the year 2008.' You remember that. Four wins got us eight home sellouts. You do the math.

Cicero: Uh, Mike, as your director of marketing, I actually did the math. We should have lost our sell out streak last October. But because we bent Kroger over backwards...err... because Kroger stepped up and bought 50,000 tickets this season, we were able to keep the streak alive. That probably won't happen next season, we're going to need a new revenue stream.

Brown: Wait, I've got it, we'll do what the Reds do, we'll charge a premium for better home opponents.

(Cicero and Katie look at each other with their jaws dropped because this is the first time in 11 years that a sensical statement has come out of Mike Brown's mouth)

Blackburn: Alright dad, I like this. I would say the Steelers, Dolphins, Saints and Chargers games could draw some big crowds.

Brown: Perfect, for those four games, $8,000 a ticket.

(After 27 hours of haggling, Katie and Vince are able to talk Mike into a small 1 to 3 dollar price increase, there is only one thing left to decide).

Blackburn: Alright dad, we just got embarrassed in a playoff game, so we need to be sensitive about the timing of this announcement.

Brown: You guys shot down all of my ideas today, I mean I really thought 'buy one beer pay double for a second' was a good one. As such, I and I alone will decide when the announcement will be made.

Blackburn: Dad, I don't think that's such a good idea, as a matter of fact, it's a horrible idea.

Brown: Honey, don't talk to me like that or I will fire you.

(Both laugh at the comment, because both of them know a black person will be elected a KKK grand wizard before Katie would get fired).

Brown (In his head to himself): Announcement of ticket price increase plus anniversary of Bengals Super Bowl loss equals public relations gold. How did I get so smart?

No comments:

Post a Comment