Friday, October 8, 2010

Schottzie Says: Don't Get No-Hit Tonight Reds

After Wednesday night's nuclear holocaust that was game one of the National League Divisional Series, we here at INSIC thought long and hard about what the Reds can do to win game two.

Here's what we came up with:

1. Don't get no-hit: This seems like common sense, but after Wednesday night, we realize it's not. It is impossible to win a baseball game without getting a hit. Although, theoretically you could win without a hit if a bunch of people got walked and/or hit by pitches and/or got to base on dropped third strikes in the same inning. But we probably shouldn't count on that strategy tonight.

2. Score a run: as the Braves proved last night, even if you don't get no-hit, it is impossible to win a baseball game without scoring a run. Sure, the only Giants run was scored by a guy that was caught stealing second (pictured below) and yes, if the umpire had made the correct call, the two teams would still be playing right now tied at zero (by our count, the game would be in the 92nd inning and Lincecum would probably have close to 400 strikeouts). But we don't care about that series, we only care about this one. Score a God Damn run Reds.

3. Don't Eat Cheesesteaks: For the love of Marge Schott, if you ate a cheesesteak today, then don't watch the game, you're a horrible fan and you're bad luck. As long as the Reds are playing Philadelphia, there is to be no support of anything Philadelphia. Burn your Rocky DVD's, punch Will Smith in the face if you see him, start an illegal dog fighting ring and frame Michael Vick for it. We don't care what you do, just do something.

Prediction for tonight: Schottzie says 5-3 Reds.

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