Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Its Never Sunny in Cincinnati Celebrates Its One Year Anniversary

This blog started one year ago today doing what Cincinnati sports fans do best: making fun of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Sure they have six Super Bowl Championships, but that's offset by the fact that all of their fans smell like beef jerky.

Anyway, back to INSIC. In the past year, we proved that Shayne Graham is on facebook (his people denied his Facebook profile was real, then they said it was and in case you're wondering, he hasn't really been accepting new friend requests since the Jets game) and we were the only web site anywhere to pick the Bengals exact record for the 2009 season (10-6).

Because of our anniversary, we here at INSIC are starting a new series today. From now on, every other Tuesday for the next seven years, we are going to rehash a sporting event in Cincinnati history that will make you throw up the arugula salad that your wife packed you for lunch.

The Reds have been terrible since 1991, the Bengals bad luck has existed since 1968, and even our college teams fail to win national championships.

This horrible span of Cincinnati sports suckiness will be called "The Curse of Stanley Wilson's Drug Dealer."

For those of you that don't know, Stanley Wilson was the starting fullback for the 1988 Bengals. The night before the Super Bowl, Wilson was caught with an amount of cocaine that would make a Colombian drug dealer jealous. How Wilson got that Cocaine? No one knows. Since the NFL doesn't allow crack addicts to play in Super Bowls, Wilson wasn't allowed to play in the game. The Bengals lost by four.

So without further adieu, lets start our new series on why it's never sunny in cincinnati:

First up (Bearcat fans may want to turn their heads):

Location: Memphis, TN
Date: March 2, 2000
Important Moment: Conference USA Tournament Quarterfinals

Most UC fans have repressed this memory. The fans who didn't repress it simply drank to the point of black out which means the alcohol repressed the memory.

What memory are we talking about here?

The one where Kenyon Martin's right leg breaks like a New Orleans water levee during Hurricane Katrina.

UC was a legit contender for the national title during the 1999-2000 season. Going into the month of March, they were no. 1 in the land. However, that all changed three minutes into their conference quarterfinal game against St. Louis.

So what happened to Martin, let's let the Associated Press describe it: Martin was setting a pick when he got tangled up with Saint Louis' Justin Love. Martin's ankle turned underneath him as he fell, tearing several ligaments and then breaking his fibula.

Now, let's make a long story short.

On selection Sunday, the Bearcats became the first top ranked team in the history of college basketball to not get a no. 1 seed for the NCAA tournament. Coach Bob Huggins cried foul, he said his team still deserved a top seed. The Bearcats went out and proved Huggins statement by promptly losing in the second round to seventh seed Tulsa.

Who does INSIC blame?

Mr. and Mrs. Love. If Justin Love's parents had aborted him, Kenyon would have never have broken his leg and the Bearcats would be national champions.

Be sure to check back later this week for our Super Bowl pick and don't miss next Tuesday's reason why It's Never Sunny in Cincinnati.

1 comment:

  1. Yo John Boi, if YOU were never a lil sperm seed and got traped inside the bootyhole, this blog would NEVER have been made....