Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Vegas to Cincinnati Bengals Fans: Your Team Still Sucks

For a second, lets forget about Brad St. Louis, blocked extra points and how worthless Chris Henry has been this season. The only thing INSIC is pissed about this week is the spread for Sunday's Bengals-Ravens game.

Since most Bengals fans out there aren't degenerate gamblers like everyone here at INSIC, you probably haven't seen the line for Sunday's Bengals-Ravens game. (If you've never gambled, done drugs or killed someone before, here's how you gamble: Vegas bookmakers set a line on a game that favors one team to win. Their ultimate goal is to get 50 percent of the bets on one team and 50 percent on the other team, so they favor one team by a certain amount of points. You, the degenerate gambler then decide who to bet on after the line is revealed)

Usually when two one loss teams play a week five game, the line is close: for example, the 49ers (3-1) and Falcons (2-1) play this Sunday in San Francisco. San Fran is favored by 2.5. This means, if you bet on San Francisco to cover, they would have to win by three for you to win money.

So how many points are the Ravens favored by in this Sunday's AFC North showdown? Three? Four? Five and a half? No, No and no.

The bookies in Vegas have Baltimore as 8.5 point favorites. Are you serious? The only team that opened up as a bigger underdog was the Detroit Lions. Is this for real? I haven't been this pissed since NBC canceled Knight Rider.

Do the oddsmakers really think the second biggest blowout of the day is going to be Baltimore over our Bengals? Really?

I hope Amy Winehouse gives every bookie in Vegas some incurable STD this weekend because their basically saying, 'we have more faith that god is a polar bear who eats starving orphans then we do that the Bengals are going to win the AFC North.'

So yes Bengals fans, kind of like 82 percent of all breasts in the Greater Los Angeles area, most people don't think we're for real.

INSIC will be dropping $20 on the Bengals to win Sunday and when they do, we're taking our $63 in winnings to Blackfinn and giving it to the newest member of the Bengals bandwagon: Danity Kane's Aubrey O'Day. Thanks to someone at Who Dey Revolution for providing us with this awesome picture.

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