Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Braves East Division Collapse Can Only Mean One Thing: New Atlanta Blog

When INSIC started two Februaries ago in Pete Rose's basement, we had this Martin Luther King Jr. size dream that one day the Bengals would win the Super Bowl which would come four months after the Reds won the World Series which would come three months after Pete Rose was inducted into the Hall-of-Fame.

Sure it's only been 19 months, but we're currently sitting at 0-for-3. So now, we've decided to put that dream on hold for at least six more weeks (which will be when the Reds win it all) and focus on dream number two.

Our other dream is simple: take the INSIC idea to other cities in the country and pay the new writer's using money we win betting big on Cross-Country pony racing.

Well, our little pony finally hit it big last week and now we have enough capital to start blog number two.

Ladies and gentleman, lets welcome the second blog into the Its Never Sunny in Cincinnati network: Dealing Dominique Wilkins.

What INSIC does for Cincinnati, DDW will now do
for Atlanta. And if you think about it, now is the perfect time to start this blog.

The Braves are falling faster than a dead body thrown off the side of a four-story building.

The Hawks are two weeks away from breaking training camp, but no one in Atlanta actually knows that because there aren't actually any Hawks fans in Atlanta.

The Falcons are so desperate to sell tickets, don't be surprised if they start throwing in German hookers who will probably themselves be encouraged to throw in free blumpkins.

And then of course, there's the bread and butter of Atlanta sports -- the University of Georgia. The Bulldogs season has started off like Kevin Kolb's career in Philadelphia. Which is ironic because Kolb lost his job to Michael Vick, who in two games this season with the Eagles has played 97 times better than he did in 74 games as a Falcon.

Now why is the blog called 'Dealing Dominique Wilkins?'

Good fucking question.

Our new Atlanta writer claims that the downfall of Atlanta sports started in 1994 when the Hawks traded Mr. Wilkins and a first round pick for a washed up Danny Manning. We won't bore you with too much NBA talk (mainly because Cincinnati doesn't have a team), but lets just say, in the NBA, you should never trade away your first round pick. It would be like giving up your first born son, only your first born son is a 6'9" power forward named Jesus C. from Bethlehem.

Oh and as DDW mentions in their inaugural post, the Hawks got taken to the cleaners in the trade by THE CLIPPERS. That sentence has never been written before and it won't be written any time after this. The Clippers will never take anyone to the cleaners ever again. Mainly because they're the Clippers.

Will DDW be as entertaining? Maybe.

Does the guy running it have four kids which means more poop jokes? Yes.

Will Breech ever write for them? If he gets paid in blumpkins, you can count on it.

If you're an Atlanta fan, check out the newest blog in the INSIC network: Dealing Dominique Wilkins.

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