Sunday, September 5, 2010
Why Hasn't Bengals WR Jerome Simpson Cracked the Starting Lineup? Probably Because He's Too Sensitive
INSIC founder John Breech wasted his entire day yesterday doing three things: watching college football, tweeting and keeping track of who the Bengals cut from their roster (Since 81 percent of our readers are Bengals fans, we'll figure 59 percent of you knew that yesterday was cut day in the NFL. For the other 41 percent of you, cut day is where each team has to get their roster down to 53 players).
Nine seconds after he heard the news that sixth round draft pick Dezmon Briscoe had been cut, Breech offered this tweet making fun of the Bengals favorite two and a half-year WR project, Jerome Simpson: Dez Briscoe will be in the Hall-of-Fame before Jerome Simpson starts a game for the Bengals.
After sending the tweet, Breech took a bath, ate two waffles, watched the Miami Redhawks almost shock Florida, followed by the Reds pounding the Cardinals before mowing his lawn.
What we're saying here is that he didn't give the tweet a second thought.
But someone did give that tweet a second thought, that person, none other than the Bengals two and a half year WR project himself: Jerome Simpson.
Now, we didn't know that Simpson was more emotional than a teenage girl having her first period, but apparently he is.
At noon today, Simpson sent Breech a personal message on twitter: Why r u following me if wanna talk shit about me? O ya an you will never play an NFL snap.. So I got u!!
No Jerome, Breech probably will never play an NFL snap, but you'll probably never write a grammatically correct sentence, so in that sense, you guys are even.
Jerome, we'll keep this short and sweet:
1. Stop Twitter stalking your haters and learn the playbook. Terrell Owens learned it in two weeks, you're now going on 125 weeks. Unless he's 62.5 times smarter than you, this makes no sense.
2. Pray nightly that offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski never gets fired because it would take you another three years to learn the new coordinator's playbook, which means you would be the first six-year veteran in the history of the NFL to never start a game. That would be an awesome record to hold.
3. Andre Smith sucks worse than you and at this point is a bigger draft bust. The only difference, he actually answers questions and doesn't avoid the media. Stop being a bitch. In every day America, if you work at a job for two years and don't produce, you get fired. So don't be so touchy when Bengals fans want to see some new blood, you've showed us nothing in two years.
By the way, in case anyone is wondering, here are Simpson's stats after two full seasons with the Bengals: eight games played in, one game started, one catch for two yards.