Thursday, September 30, 2010
Do You Have a Box of OchocincO's at Your House? Do You Want to Have Phone Sex Today? Then You're in Luck!
Without even knowing it, Ochocinco and his new cereal have combined the two things that people love most about the morning: breakfast and phone sex.
When OchocincO's cereal was released late last month, one of the reasons it got so much publicity outside of Cincinnati is because a portion of each sale from every three dollar box was going to go to a charity called Feed the Children.
Then Ocho had an even better idea, why not put the phone number for Feed the Children on the OchocincO's box so that people could donate more money. A good idea in theory.
However, someone at PLB Sports (the Pittsburgh based company that makes the cereal) made a big goof. Instead of putting the phone number for Feed the Children on the box (1-888-HELP-FTC), they put something way more exciting: the phone number for a phone sex line (1-800-HELP-FTC).
This is so awesome that someone at PLT Sports is either going to get a huge raise or get fired today.
The bigger question here is: why is everyone in this country an ass? This phone sex number has been on the side of the box for just over 30 days now, which means that for 30 days, pretty much no one called to donate money to this charity. This also means that the children of feed the children are not being fed.
An Ohio family finally called the number yesterday and after hearing a sultry sex siren answer the phone asking them what their favorite position is, the family called WCPO Channel 9, which of course is what most normal people do when asked about sex positions on a phone call that was made using a number from a cereal box.
As far as XXX content goes, we didn't think Chad would be able to top his giant dick towel, but he's done it.
Anyway, Chad's take on the incident is simple, here's what he told the Enquirer's Joe Reedy this morning: Remember, [the cereal] is made in Pittsburgh, something just isn't right.
By the way, all boxes of Ochocinco's are being pulled from the shelves, so if you have one, you may want to hold onto it, it could be a collector's item.
The only way the cereal industry can top this is if Toucan Sam, Lucky the Leprechaun and the Trix rabbit have a foursome with Count Chocula.